At what point in a new and current relationship did you find closure with a relationship/person from your past? Can you really have closure with someone whom you were truly in love with?

Aside from my past issues, a girlfriend who has been married now for over 20 years ran into a former boyfriend, the one just prior to her marriage. She said they were able to just sit and talk about the past, the current stuff, just everything, wellllllllll, despite the fact that I have seen her with her husband and never thought in a million years she would cheat on him, she did!

She claimed that there was obviously never closure, despite the length of marriage and their time apart, she never resolved her feelings for him, the other guy.

So hence the question, can you really have closure and how do you know when you've really closed that chapter and have moved on?

I'm not sure I understand what closure means. I still remember the good and bad about past relationships, but it has no effect on current committments.

Hi Ras..
We women tend to talk in Venetian, but Puter is quite clear on the method. She is talking about being able to move on..and the feelings dissipate all together..hence per say..the old flame re-enters..she sees him..and nothing..I mean nothing, this is closure..saying the good bye without saying the good bye.

Sometimes even when the good bye is displayed/portrayed in the exit of the relationship. the good bye is still not finalized. The feelings surface once again like there is no tomorrow..suddenly you feel like you didnt finish what was started..and a flicker arrives in your heart, so one pursues it.

Now, to me..this can happen..happens all the time..I believe the term Affair plays out the part. However..we as people may always have a certain feeling for someone else..I feel like this is common ground and natural. We as people must learn moreover the term respect and the value its place holder in marriage. It doesnt matter of what you feel when your married to one man then they come about for someonelse..even so..you are to live up to your vows..they do not include an occasional side step with an affair. It only disrupts your very life and will inevitable blacken your trail. You cannot un-do an affair..In marriage the word commitment should be practiced every moment of your life with marriage or we tend to lose site.

Love comes and goes in marriage..its a daily commitment to love no matter what when the feelings may or may not be there..but the commitment is till death do us part

I dont think there is total closure to something we may have experienced with another individaul in a deep relationship, I should think a prick of the heart would surface and old feelings come about per possible meeting agian..however..we are not to dance with the memories of the past and indulge. Marriage is forever until death do us part.

Sherri

a friend of mine sent me a song, she said everytime she hears it, through the issues with the ex that I had discussed with her, she said the song is ours....
I finally listened to it over the weekend..by Kenny Chesney- As a Memory

wow, great song..