Well, the pot is going to get stirred. I have fallen short of the good way, in it I have learned much. I practiced celibacy for 3 1/2 years after my divorce back in 93, I then met my second husband. I have to be honest with you after all that I see and hear of what is going on in the world, group sex and no protection, wow, its mind boggling. Women have 2.1 diseases, likewise men. I am so happy I didnt drop the ball there. I feel rather liberated and content in a monogamous relationship. Its so scary out there. I know that people tend to want to check out the merchandise before an actual purchase, but YIKES! too risky.. its like, hey can you go to the doctors first before we engage? I would be willing if your willing, seems that is the only route to go, I know you have to get to know a person, but, many diseases lay doormant...they dont even show up for years...or...its too late when they do and someone else gets harmed. I think practicing abstinence till you find that special someone is key...and I dont think waiting till marriage is a bad thing at all...ya I would be willing to do the doctor thing why not? just me.

Sherri

When my husband and I got together we both got checked out at the drs.

We figured if we were going to get sexual with each other we should be open and aware of what we could possibly be sharing.

It wasn't an issue.

Hey, this is great to here, I sure wish others would truly take this into consideration, I think its embarrassing for younger people to submit to this, pride, peer pressure or whatever, but crucial...most wont, but if they understood that people actually do go the distance and its ok to do that, maybe then they too would be inspired. Why is infidelity and pre-marital sex pushed and accepted instead of abstinence, at least the check up thing, it could mean the persons very life...Ya we live in a fallen world... sad..

Sherri

Well I think there is some middle ground between celibacy outside marriage, and "group sex and no protection". There is nothing to stop one being selectively sexually active, and nothing to prevent one from having safe sex. I'm not aware of any diseases that aren't almost totally protected against by use of condoms etc. We each have to find what is comfortable for us - and certainly ignore anything resembling peer pressure on the subject. Hearing stories of (for example) your women seeing blowjobs as a status symbol in high school is just so sad. TV shows like Sex and the city are also not helpful (I think of it as 'Sluts and the city' personally - never in my life did I meet anyone of either gender who really has that many partners).

I think its quite possible to take your time and be sexually active at your own pace, without any hard and fast rules like 'no sex before marriage'. After all we can transfer and catch herpes by kissing, so to be realistic, abstinence on grounds of disease prevention would need to also include kissing - 25% of people have herpes and many do not even know it as it has never been symptomatic.

Hey Kevin had to sit on this one a few days...
There is nothing to stop one being selectively sexually active, << To true morals included to that individuals misfortune..

and nothing to prevent one from having safe sex. NO they just need a dose of photo exposure to what the diseases can actually do to ones private areas, that can help you steer your ship in a different direction.

I'm not aware of any diseases that aren't almost totally protected against by use of condoms etc. << Except if the condom breaks..AAAAHHH!!!

Hearing stories of (for example) your women seeing blowjobs as a status symbol in high school is just so sad. TV shows like Sex and the city are also not helpful (I think of it as 'Sluts and the city' personally - never in my life did I meet anyone of either gender who really has that many partners). <<< Exceedingly deplorable and I fully agree, I cant beleive how the up-doming generation is gaining status quo within the confines of education if you will.

After all we can transfer and catch herpes by kissing, << this too may be an extension of moral decline...had not evil bled through the cracks of society rather it be expressed through television, and or the inevitable...( oh everyone is doing it ) maybe we could have turned this all around..

Less activity through divers partners and a little more respect for oneself oral as well as physical hygene may have had less consequences, so I believe...

so to be realistic, abstinence on grounds of disease prevention would need to also include kissing - 25% << just think if we did it from a biblical perspective...your promised, no activity of any sort until marriage...WHAT?? you mean wait all the way?? who does that? ya who indeed will be brave enough to embrace such a concept? maybe just maybe had we adapted to those ways we might not have any diseases,,,any...diseases>>.mmmm..oh well, no- such thing, to bad to sad, so the inevitable arrives...disease ( Big Time ) out the wazoo, literally...

Yik, I could have avoided that one.

of people have herpes and many do not even know it as it has never been symptomatic.[/quote] < this to is very true, but hey...taboo of course, but if you stick around long enough in a relationship, before sexual activity..you might start seeing mouth blisters on that one you are considering sex with...who knows...something like, hey God, if this person is not for me...< beings your looking for a permanent attachement...then could you show me? ..AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH blisters appear.

Ok, I could have spared you the drama...

Sherri

I take your points, but two big issues occur to me.

1. There is absolutely no reason for anyone but Christians to look at things from any biblical perspective. And without getting into any major discussion of the Bible's merits, there is a big factor of time/change/evolution involved.

2. It seems altogether way too late for that now anyway - can't solve the problem by shutting the gate after the horse has bolted.

The fact is we do live in a society where sexual activity is considered normal (and indeed healthy) amongst consenting adults. Different societies vary the age at which it is acceptable, or may even not see it as acceptable if pre-marital. But as I see it, those countries bring with them baggage like women being seen as inferior/possessions etc. I don't see any examples where everyone is pretty much free and equal, but pre-marital sex is not the norm.

I can only hope that the current 'shag everyone in sight' mentality will be a cyclical thing. I guess it was big in the 60's too, though in a different way (it was about "free **love**", not 'sex for status' etc). Or perhaps as a species we will even grow past it completely and realize there is more to life than finding someone to have sex with (seems to me to be the obsession of younger men in particular).

We can only wait and see what the future brings.

Kevin, your avatar scares me..?? I think we are more of a hit and miss than you think on this post...

Its just a shame that people cant understand to respect themselves on a higher level in which the creator gave us a brain to use...but the proof is in the pudding and we see the altered results of our ignorance by indulging to quickly. Society chooses to learn the hard way..I do beleive in the mysteries of the gospel and that which it proclaims to do in helping us, one only has to be willing to walk the road less traveled. The outcome is that of a long awaited benefit..if your hope is love, then in your good fortune to find it and seek a higher power in the process...then victory to your choice..if its prosperity monetary wise, than all the more power, whatever your lot in life...creation shows us a higher power to submit to in order to find the answers to life and a direction to seek..it also protects us, yes in more ways than one...

You are right...we can only wait to see what the future brings..

Sherri