After close to 4 years together, which included talk of marriage, my girlfriend and I called it quits. Now it's a Saturday night (on a long weekend no less) and I'm all by my lonesome self--totally demoralized and spending time drinking beer and posting to forums.

Ever since I was 17 (I'm in my late 20s now) I usually had a longer-term relationship so I didn't have to deal with breakups all that much, and now after the longest relationship of my life, with what probably was the best thing that's ever happed to me gone, I have a really hard time dealing with it. Anybody have any advice to help me deal with a breakup with the love of my life?

Really sorry to hear the bad news. Not knowing more details I don't want to give you advice. The best I can say is time will bring relief. If you want to talk about it more PM me and I'll give you my email - probably not a good idea to go into a lot of details here in the open. Your choice tho.

Sorry to hear it...

Only thing I can tell you is that there will be another special someone, and life goes on. Enjoy the rest of your friends and family, maybe take a few days to get to see some nature and just relax.

Sorry for your loss,

First you have to heal so take the time to take care of yourself. Reach out to friends and family for support and try to avoid driving them crazy with it because you will not be able to stop thinking and talking about it.

Remember just because you love someone doesn't mean that you can live with them. So when you are able to think clearly. Take some time to figure what did not work in the relationship. Not in order to make changes, by all means make changes in your life if you feel they are needed. The important thing is to use the experience to learn about yourself, what your needs are and what kind of person you would like to be around.

For example I had a relationship that did not go well for a few reasons one of them was the young lady I was dating was very jealous and I gave her plenty of reason to be jealous. So I realized that I needed someone that did not get jealous easily. Over time I came up with a list of things that I like in lover and looked for these things. I was able to find them and have been in a relationship now for 10 years 3 of those being married. Once you know what you want it becomes easier to find it.

Buenas Dias

Sorry dude. That sucks. Just keep moving. Don't do anything stupid. Do your job, spend time with friends. Spend time on hobbies. That sort of thing. Just keep it together, and eventually you'll start feeling better.

Sorry to hear that. Those break ups really sucks.

The few times i've tried it, music has been mu guide and healing. I always managed to find the most depressing music and play it over and over again, until i grew tired of being sad and sorry for my self.

Go see your friends, tell them how you feel. Some of them probably will tell you that they're not that interested, and others listens, gives you that sense of friendship as it really should be. In the end your everyday life wont hurt like now, but you'll remember what went wrong (if anything did) this time, and hopefully do anything to prevent it from happening again.

But as others have said, don't do something stupid to your self, nothing good will come from that.

Stop being a pussy...is what i told myself.

Tough place to be in ...very shitty feelings

Aye, when i was in that situation, i spent lots of time drinking and listening to music, friends help too, its when i discovered who my closest friends were. Since I dont know much about what happened or how your relationship was i cant really say much other than to look on the bright side, more time for yourself, the fights and annoying conflicts are over, you can now have fun with other people ie sleep around if youd like. Just give it time, you are bound to find someone better or for the mean time, a distraction.

Plus i also kept asking myself how i can let one person rule my feelings and disrupt my daily life..

You are going to come out a stronger person from all this.

I'm smack dab into it and it sucks. It's empty.

Sorry to hear about that. But honestly you need to realize you can be happy by yourself before being with someone else.

I wasn't unhappy at all when I met her some...10 years ago.

soyouvebeendumped.com - helping you over a break-up

No, really - useful address.

Been there. I'm unable to heal the stuff from 3 years back. But well, you'll meet another person. Good luck man. I know how it is, I was drinking for 6 months because of this relationship.

Thanks for the link and...yeah some people just get more under your skin than others somehow, don't they?