Gee boys, y'all havin' a lynchin'? Can I come?

Thank you all for your kind support in this crisis! I have determined to tell my mom everything tonight. I feel very glad that I made this decision early in life, to not regret the consequences for having continuí in the wrong path. Part of me still feels bad for making a clean break with everything relating to him, but I realize that that is just the last vestige of the brainwashing and psychological manipulation or near-hypnosis he gave me. I have to remind myself that I have nothing to lose by breaking all ties with him, and everything to gain. Thank you again, charbucks, rasczak, mmcarthy, rj, in short, everyone, for wise counsel and for wishing me luck in the coming revelation to my mother. Thanks rj for offering to have the jerk for dinner, I especially needed that comfort. At some point, I will be brave enough to tell him "Screw you!!!" to his face if I ever meet him again. As another step in the cleansing process, I will remove him from my friends list on orkut and facebook, and delete him from my contacts in gmail, so that he won't bother me online, either. It will be hard during the first phase of the withdrawal, but as Rasczak said, I will always meet more interesting people, who will not manipulate and take advantage of me. I don't need creeps like him in my life, and I can always make friends.

Next time you see him, run up to him and kick him in the crown jewels... as hard as possible.

Maybe leave a bit of dog shit on his front doorstep or something like that too.

The bastard deserves to be locked up.

also, once everything is in the clear with your parents, go to "susan" and talk to her, and clear out the lies he spread about you.

It is good that you are going to stop seeing him. I agree that you need to talk to "Susan" and make her aware of this stuff. I am a teenage guy, and I have many friends that are girls. Be careful dating older guys at this age. I have a friend and she is dating someone who is in his mid to late twenties and has already been married and it is causing her a lot of problems. Older guys have been around the block several times and they know how to "manipulate" people. But it is good that you are stopping this before your life is ruined.

I just came from a debriefing session with my mom, and it was amazing; what may be perhaps more amazing is that we discussed the issue with "Susan's" roommate too. It was a very frank and eye-opening conversation. Basically, it turns out that this schmuck has not only tried to trap me, he has actually done it to others, including Susan. He has twisted Susan so much into his sick game that she is actually fighting with her roommate for warning her about him, and is defending him despite actually knowing that he has lied to her. He has used the full bag of tricks when she found out she lied to him: crying, making up more lies, changing the subject, calling her crazy, etc. And the fact that she does not want to see how dangerous he really is makes it even more scary; that could have been me, another victim in his trap. Right now, I can't really tell her anything, because she wouldn't listen. Her roommate and my mom cannot tell him to go to hell or declare full-out war with him, or expose his devil side just yet, because she is still in his jaws, and there is no telling what he could do if he got wind of the fact that we are onto his dirty game. This sounds almost like a drama from a really scary movie, from afar, but it is more frightening because it is happening in real life at close quarters.

Anyway, I am glad that I said everything to my mom, and it wasn't as bad as I had expected. You were all right. My mom actually understands me a lot, and she knows what is best for me. It was really one of those great moments of heart-felt talk between mother and daughter. My mission: Avoid him like the plague that he is: he is a perp who is also deranged. Thanks again for your advice.

just as a thought, if you want to start a full war, you might be able to get him for the porn/masturbation thing. dunno exactly how the legal system is here, but if he is in some kind of rehabilitation, susan might be free of him for a while, see the truth and everyone be happy after all...

Yeah if you want full blown war you might be able to get him. I am not a lawyer. Since you are underage and she showed you porn, and the whole masturbation thing you might be able to get him for that, but you have to prove that it wasn't by your own will, that you were coerced into it or something. Just a thought, and if "Susan" is underage and he has had sex with her then you can defiantly report him to the police or something. Indiana just added a law that protects guys if they are dating the girl and are within a certain range of age since technically before hand guys that had sex with their girlfriends that were not of age got stuck as sex offenders. If where you live doesn't have a law like that and you want to get him back you probably could. In Indiana the girl must be at least 16, and the guy must be within 4 years of her age. So if he is in his 30s he is out of luck no matter what.

btw, did you tell susan the whole, entire story? its hard to believe someone would still try to hang on to the feeling in that case...

just a bit of googleing and wikipedia

i think it is, in a general sense, considered sexual harassment if you are uncomfortable with the situation...

here are some quotes:
and here is the "official" definition
emphesis added

I missed this thread but I have to say the advice was excellent. Well done people, and well done bcasanov, I hate facing my parents with because its hard but it definitely helps.

What I really hate about this person is he is going to be a doctor one day. You should at least report him to his college administrator, if not the authorities. This guy is a sexual predator.

This guy is not safe to be out in public. He is a sexual predator, and is not safe.

With the masturbating incidents, the fact he openly expresses the desire to have sex with an underage girl, and his illegal drug habits, I think there's more than enough there for him to be prosecuted. If he persists, go to the authorities. (I'd imagine you're in an English-speaking country by your good command of the English language, so the authorities will be more than willing to help.)

Oh, and the dog shit on his front doorstep thing is still a good idea.

Susan is twenty-five, so it seems that she should at least have enough experience to know what kind of person he is. But he has so hypnotized her that she is actually jealous of me, and would not like to even talk to me or hear from me. Her roommate is in the middle of the situation, trying to tell her what she knows about him from him, but it seems he has brainwashed her to the extent that she doesn't want to see the truth.

bcas, there is no hypnoses or brainwashing going on in this situation. People choose to think and believe what they do. My counsel to you is to stop seeing it that way and understand you made some bad choices. If you do that, you are taking responsibility for yourself and your actions. Nobody makes anybody do these things, they choose to do them all by themselves.

Rj, thank you for that insight. I realize that there comes a point where I have to take responsibility for my own actions, and fully blaming the problem on him would not solve the issue. I am glad that I empowered myself to make the final decision to stop contact with him, and took the situation into the hands of a knowledgeable and trustworthy adult, my mom. Although I am a minor, it would have been also my fault if I continued seeing him, I now see, because I am not exempt from making choices and owning up to them. So, Susan has got to wise up pretty soon, on her own, and make the right choice to leave him, or she could be headed for more disaster. Ultimately, I agree that everyone, including young people like me, has to make his/her own choices in life, and these choices cannot be avoided.

Well said.

The 'right' decision for you may not be the 'right' decision for her. At 17 you are far too young to decide whether or not you want to be that sexually active. Susan probably is not either emotionally, but she is 25 and therefore unless she seeks counsel from others she has the right to do as she pleases. I am not a person who agrees with being sexually promiscuous because I know there is more to it than just sex.

So don't worry about anybody but you, that is your job as a young person. Become good at being you and then you will have developed the strength and wisdom to counsel others.