That's all pretty interesting. I can see perfectly well where it'd be fun for people who aren't deeply committed and are into same-sex stuff.

Thanks for answering my question. I hope it all continues to work out well for you.

It would be nice if all of the interested participants are merely strangers. What I mean is that none of them has a relationship with eachother or someone else, but lets say that they are usual friends at school or so.

But I do not understand it in a relationship. Having sex with someone you have feelings to is quite a different experiance than having sec with someone who is a (mere) stranger to you.

Generally in the threesomes I have heard of, there was a couple who invited a third person to join them for sex. For the couple it is a way to have fun and to try new things, while sharing the experience. For the guest it is a way to have fun and to try new things. The point really isn't to develop the same intimacy with the third person that exists between the couple.

I have also met people who are polyamorous - meaning that they prefer to have intimate, romantic relationships with more than one person at a time. Each of these people said that even in relationships with multiple people, they would have one person they considered to be a primary partner. Though they shared intimacy with others, their connection with their primary partner was strongest. The people I spoke to didn't mention group activities, but I think it makes an interesting comparison.

Exactly - the third person is just there to have fun. I think it's really important that the third doesn't have a crush on one of the couple, or vice versa. Sexual attraction is fine, of course, but if one of the couple was seriously interested in the third, that's when it seems like problems would start to come up. A couple that I know who have had several threesomes actually said that it brings them closer together afterwards.

OtherShoe, you had any luck finding a third yet? I would suggest that your girlfriend approach the girl, or both of you together. I once had a random guy at a bar try to get me to dance with him and the girl he was with, and it just seemed creepy. Maybe talk to her in a non-sexual situation first and get her used to the idea, and then go out with her to a party or bar or something and just let it happen naturally. That way, it wouldn't be forcing her to come to a decision right away.

No luck yet. My girlfriend and I had a strategy session last night, and we agree with you suggestions. Apparently we are both into planning things carefully; our approach is to agree on someone we are both attracted to and to then to try to find out if she might be interested. That involves spending a lot of time around her, flirting, and bringing up sex in conversations.

There is someone that we have been interested in for a while. She has become a good friend, and there has been a good amount of flirting all around. But we haven't been bold enough to make a move. I think my girlfriend and I are nervous about misjudging her feelings toward us and going to far. While we were dallying, she found someone else that she has fallen head-over-heels for; so we might have to let her go and resolve to move a little faster next time.