Once I got married, what are best ways to attract my wife towards me well. How can I improve mutual understading? How should I adapt to family life?

I don't think there are any answers to those questions. It just takes time. Be sensitive and try to understand her; that's really all you can do.

One way to make things easier on yourself is for you to read a book named:
"Men are for Mars - Women are from Venus!" - This book tells a lot of the "secrets" behind a great marriage/relationship. Also a great guide in educating yourself to your inner self. It made me get much deeper in understanding why I did the things I do in a relationship.

The only thing I can say is it would differ from some one to another.

listen to her, and try to understand

Quite often my wife and i sit down and talk. Just talk, you know, about everything. Not because we're disagreeing on something and not because we're having trouble, we just talk.

It's a good deal of being married, having one to know inside out.

Put out your TV, turn off your computers and forget about everything else. that attention that you're giving each other is worth it's time in gold and love, because thats what it's all about isn't it, that spark of love that got got you two together in the first place.

People have different ways they perceive someone cares for them. For example, a lot of guys might think that working hard all day, then coming home and fixing the house and car working on the yard is the right way to show their family they care for them - while at the same time, your wife might not care about any of that and just wishes you'd give her compliments, spend quality time with her, or something like that.

You need to find out what it is that makes her feel appreciated and do that. Don't assume you know because that's how your father did it, that's what your mom liked.

Why does marriage have to suddenly change things?

It doesn't have to but it usually does. My theory is it has to do with deep seated paradigms the two individuals bring with them, but ignore until after the honeymoon for some reason.

I would have thought that if you hadn't organised all of that stuff you wouldn't even think of getting married.

Sorry, I am showing off now aren't I?

Most people haven't. I have talked to a LOT of people who were planning on getting married, and I always tell them to get some pre-marital counseling. Every single one of them hates the idea even tho all you do is learn some communication skills and other tools that will help them in their marriage.

I've heard of couples that lived together for years and years, but got divorced after they were married.

On the other side of the coin, there have probably been a lot of people who should have never remained married but did out of tradition or religious reasons.

Another factor - and I'm just rambling off things from the top of my head - is look how most couples date now. They do things like go to movies, watch DVDs together - the majority of what they do doesn't involve sitting down and discussing things that never come up until after the honeymoon.

I could go on and on, there's a lot of contributing factors.

Showing off what?

Sorry, looks like you didn't get the humour in that post.

I am not married yet. However I have been with my fiance for 6 years and we have three children together. We have a mortgage, we know what goals each of us have, we know how we wish to bring up our children and what morals we will be passing on. We know each other deep down and I am always confused when i watch people get married who have no idea of who they are marrying - or worse that marriage will change something.

Hey, another way is to take a personality test, and learn the 5 languages of love, do a search on line of just that, and on the personality test, because as the one post said, you may be doing everything in your power to show your love, cutting grass, cleaing her vehichle, this would mean your love is an act of service, but, what if her love is words of affirmation, then you must go the distance and say, your beautiful, or compliment what she does, well again do a search and learn of these things, marriage can last a lifetime and it can be something of gold two people search a lifetime for. You ever notice at times when one dies and the couple were ederly...that the other follows not to long behind? there is a reason for that,

Sherri

i would hope if your gettin married you would have already attracted your wife....
unless its some sort of weird arranged marriage?

Blah to marriage...