I'm curious everyone. Have you ever been in, or are you currently in, a relationship with someone who is of a different religion? How do you handle such basic differences, etc.?

This is cross-posted in the religion forum, but it wasn't getting enough attention.

I've had a few relationships (friendship or...other) with people of a different religion/"race" and the problem(s) were not religion based because I could not talk, make love to or go for a hike with anyone who puts religion first in their way of life....or even in the 10th rank.

I realize this doesn't really answer your question; it's just been my experience.

To some people religion is a serious matter - To me religion is simply a part of everyday life. Though I would not engage in a relationship with a woman of a different religion than mine while tensions easily come to fight each other off in ways never planned. Religion is serious, but also a way of communicating with each other on a higher level than everyday things is discussed. It can make your life richer, or it can destroy your relations with the other person for life. I like to discuss religious stuff but I do not discuss religion with people I haven't known for years - Friendships do not form out of religious matter these days, not unless you attend church every week. Just my view.

I worked with a girl once who absolutely refused to entertain the thought that she might ever be in a relationship with a person who was not Muslim. Upon asking her why, she had no response other than "I just wouldn't". It got me thinking something, though: I would never consider a relationship with someone so closed-minded.

I, raised Catholic, currently of no affiliation, have dated Catholic, Orthodox, Jewish and Christian (of varying shades) girls, and honestly I haven't had a problem. Of course, none of them took their religiousness very seriously, with the most committed attending Church every Sunday.

I think that at the root of your question, you should be looking at the intensity of someone's beliefs. A practicing by-the-letter type would not fly with me, probably because I'm too anti-organized religion. However, someone who is moderate in their beliefs and does not force them on others is fine by me, regardless of race or creed.

It has been my experience that for the short term, BrianFantana is absolutly correct as are everyone actually who have responded to this subject.

What I have witnessed in the long term, when roles in marriage become more defined through responsibility and pressure, that many, many people which one would think could never retreat into a severly religious frame of mind, can.

I believe if anyone is going to be serious about a relationship, especially if it is going to eventually include children, make sure you can square your religious beliefs and differences with one another.

One story:

A friend of my wife's who was raised lutheran, but was not a religious minded person at all, years ago married a jewish guy whose family was quite faithful to their religious beliefs (but he said he was not).

It was love at first sight and all that jazz. They married quickly and she became pregnant soon after. Well, when the first christmass hoilday season was approaching they taked about how to celebrate. They were still infatuated with each other at this point and agreed to celebrate both holiday traditions.

The first 2 or 3 christmass' went well even though he was taking some heat from his family. Well after 2 kids and a few years, the husband dicided his boy's were going to be raised jewish, period. So he threw out all the christian christmass ornaments and laid down the law in spite of the objections from his partner.

Well, needless to say, that marriage went through some pretty hard times from that point forward. She resented him to no end for years. So, she cheated on him with many men and had not much nice to say about her husband to friends and family alike. And she was not able to hide her resentment very well before their children.

i havent dated anyone but christians, albeit mostly passive christians, so i guess all my relationships are inter-faith, ive never really thought about it.

I've never had a relationship with anyone who was seriously religious - the most would be a boyfriend whose parents say grace at the dinner table. That said, I did realize that a relationship wouldn't work out when I found out that the guy I was dating was not only a card-carrying member of the Conservative party, but had actually donated money to them.

I have had to warn my kids about them often.

Currently, my husband and I are mostly on the same page as far as religion goes.... but I have dated people in the past of differing religions.

I don't believe that if you're going to have a romantic relationship it's necessary that the two people involved are the same religion, but on the same token I also believe that being on the same page religion-wise tends to make things easier..... and if you are going to persue some sort of lifelong commitment to someone of another faith, absolutely discuss the impact with your partner that it will have.... Especially in regard to what you're going to do about raising children.

ooo Good question! It's an important one too because people change over time which is why IMO religion is NOT a thing to base relationships on.

When my wife and I married we were both die bard fundy xians. I was already doing ministry work while I was in the military and doing formal training through the Assembly of God even. Today I'm atheist and my wife is evangelical, generic christian. The only difficult thing has been 1) family, and 2) children. Our agreement so far has been no absolutes but to treat Sunday school and such as a learning opportunity but when we discuss things we say "x teaches this, some believe this, what makes sense to you? and you don't have to be sure what you agree with right now."

My observances about people is that religion has zero bearing on people who have been married over 10 years, especially those past 20+ years. My wife even has an aunt and uncle who are Lutheran, Baptist and each goes to their own church and they've been happily married for over 40 years. I've also witnessed women who attend church all the town fall hard for the leather jacket wearing bad guy bent on "saving them" via the most powerful weapon out there "no milk free" so they convert after they've had one evenings sample of their sweet milk and *bam* they're hooked into the womans trap forever whipped.

Why is the woman (or guy) so easy to "put out" at least once to get that hook made? Because they don't actually believe in their god/religion. If they did they wouldn't be able to have that pre-marital sex (or even marital) because they believe God sees all, well if their earthly dad was in the room would they "open up"? Of course not, yet their faith teaches them God is there with an even greater presence. Therefore they don't actually believe, they merely pick up the banner and don their mask (how appropriate the Sunday dress up is) whenever they feel like.

I agree with you that its a subject that must be discussed whether deeply religious or not. The possibility that people change is something people seem to rarely realize, especially the possibility of gong from religion to non-religion. Then of course the car-wreck, temporary amnesia, permanent personality change. Those cases really throw monkey wrenches in theology. But most simply hide their head in the sand when you bring that up.

Honestly as long as both people are fairly openminded about other religions(like most religions teach in the first place) then there really isnt any problems.