One of the Guys - The distraction of 'sexual orientation' and the lost world of the American male

is that really so common ? i'm curious ... i've never been to an american cinema.

Its probably got to do with personal space abit. If theres space id rather give my friend room, but if there isnt I have no qualms about sitting next to them.

Its probably got to do with the article as well though, in close spaces a guy would rather sit next to girls then to hairy blokes, haha.

If I go with mates I sit with them, whats the biggie?

Well come on over!

Mostly I don't notice boys leaving space between them. Mostly they like to sit in the back and raise hell.

Most questions like this depend on where you are, too. His observation is correct in some cases. The US varies greatly in some ways from region to region. In one place you'll see two guys kissing in the theater. In another, that kind of thing would be sensational and make a big stir. (In the latter case, someone would call the usher who would throw them out, thus laying the basis for the ensuing lawsuit.)

But overall I would say there is a trend toward a fear over male intimacy, even the merely friendly kind that used to be taken for granted. 'Gay' is often pejorative among some American boys and males. At the same time, there is a growing awareness of sexual orientations and such, so there isn't as much fear about it. It's more of a desire to define their sexuality and image carefully. It's amazing how many kids are out in their high schools. It still makes me do a double-take - I find it hard to imagine school that way.

But you're AUSTRALIAN! To you, life is the outback and the beach. What do you really know???

Wait, you guys have pictures that move?!

EVERYTHING in America moves, and usually fast and slightly destructively. Nothing and no one sits still for a minute. Except me. But I'm weird and 'the moving people' don't usually notice me. Shhh...

Yep. We call it a "buffer seat". If there are girls and guys together, then you can sit next to each other even if it means guys sit next to guys. But if it's an all guy group, then you better use buffer seats. Part of it is a comfort thing rather than an image thing. Guys tend to feel really uncomfortable if they're physically close to each other. Common? I'd say it's the standard.

BTW, I'm old enough to be over that kind of thing. I'd rather actually sit next to my buddy now. And I'm also married which takes the edge off the image deal. But back in the day, I wouldn't have been caught dead sitting directly next to a guy in a cinema.

EDIT: I'm speaking from my experience. Voice may be exactly right in that it depends on what part of the country you're in.

That pretty much sums it up. Even for non-US people.

when i was younger it was the norm to sit closer together, allowed us to hide the 3 litre bottle of cheap cider we were passing around
but ive never seen a problem, nor anyone leaving 'buffer' seats, no space problem either, maybe our cinema seats are bigger than yours

Wow Americans are weird.

I could sit on my mates lap through the entire movie and I dont think I would feel or be any "gayer". Seriously you guys need to relax.

If you did that in the United States people would think your gay, that is just how judgemental the U.S. is.

lol, sorry but this is just something I couldn't have imagined in my weirdest dreams.

/sign

well, i didn't notice that here (belgium) ... although most adolescents wouldn't want to look gay, if they went to such great length people would probably find it odd and wonder what they got going on ... (or maybe that's just me )

it's probably a matter of customs too ... in some part of belgium (mostly french speaking) regular friends (men & women) kiss instead of shaking hands, so physical contact is a lot more common and has no sexual connotation.

I'm not sure about the cinema seat thing, but I would say that homophobia seems to be much more prevalent among guys. When I was in high school, I would sleep in the same bed as my girl friends without thinking about it twice, but even in university (where supposedly people are more mature) guys seem to be afraid of any kind of contact with another male. I don't think it's a personal space bubble thing, because they sure like cuddling up to girls, but two of my roommates won't even sit on the same couch together if there's another chair free.

I have slept in beds with mates and got no problems with it so long as they arent huggin me.

I think the world is just afraid of some good old bromance.

Haha, awesome word!!!

hah! I remember doing this in highschool ... a friend of mine were in the auditorium with two other friends (girls). When we sat down, they kinda laughed at us and said "Why do you guys always sit like that? Spaced out?" I think we told them it had to do with personal space, and what we felt comfortable with. That, and perhaps the fact that guys labeled as "gay" had the crap beat out of them in our school.

Why share an arm rest if you don't have to? If my wife would allow me, I'd leave a space between us when we see a movie. Its about comfort.

no, it's about homophobia... have you actually read this?