Ok so I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 years and we are still arguing over the same stuff, that I am very closed and i don't open up to him. I really want to change but I don't know how. Any suggestions? Thanks.

Sometimes when there's something I need to/ have to say that's difficult to do, I say it aloud in my car when I'm driving by myself. There's something about being in a car alone and on the road that gives me a feeling that I can say anything - because there's absolutely no way anyone can overhear me. By saying things aloud, I can work out how I want to say it, and I can hear if it comes out wrong. When it's time to say it for real in person, I've got a better grasp of how to do it, and it's not so difficult to word because I've said it already. Now, it never comes out as "perfectly" as in the car, but it certainly helps.

I once had a boyfriend who had a hard time saying things in person, so he would IM me with heavier topics. That worked out okay. Also, my best friend in high school had a hard time opening up. For her, it was a matter of starting the conversation. If I correctly guessed what was on her mind, she had little problem talking about it. To help me with my guessing, she got a livejournal "friends only," listed me as her only friend, and when she updated I could read what was going on. That way when we met up, I already "magically" knew what was going on, and she didn't have to bring it up - I did it for her.

Hope that helps in some way!

Thanks for the advice!

just tell him that he can be with you the way you are, or leave. If that's the way you are, you should'nt have to change yourself for him. Everyone has at least one imperfection.

I dont think you should have to change anything about you,
if he or you is not happy with something you shouldnt be
together.

if you WANT to open up to him, just do it,
but dont do it to make HIM happy, do it for you.

i've never believed in that just 'making it work' stuff.
If it's meant to work it just will, you shouldnt have to
change for it to happen, and if you feel you do then you
shouldnt be with him, there is someone else out there
for you.

Have you tried opening up......your legs?B)

I couldn't disagree more. Sure, you shouldn't change everything about yourself, but every relationship requires work and change. To say you're never going to change anything about yourself to make a relationship work is just being pretentious. I don't believe in "meant to work." Every couple, no matter how perfect, has problems that require compromise and change. The key thing is that change has to be reasonable. Is it worth it to lose a great relationship because you don't want to put in a little effort?


That's a horrible thing to say.

Hopefully after 3 years he is already getting some