Untitled. [It's a poem btw.]

theyoungandthehopeless · 12-26-2006

I just wrote this today, and it's probably the first poem i wrote that i'm satisfied with.

the paper flew,
the words carved in,
saying i love you
start to end

stuffed in the envelope and posted in the mail,
addressed to heaven, from below
when the postmen see, they exhale
we're going to have to let it go

this neatly written letter,
from a boy missin his girl
who's gone to somewhere better

Good? Bad? Sucked? Rocked?
Constructive criticism.
Personally, i loved my first verse.

Keep in mind i'm only twelve.

[like that'll change anything]

saitorul · 12-30-2006

Well, it is good. Pretty sad concept, but yes, good.

Sable_lynx · 05-26-2007

lovely! its a little sad though..... but lovely all the same. keep at it

badbadputer · 05-26-2007

Touching poem, keep up writing if you enjoy it. May be our next 'great poet' of the future...

rstar500 · 05-31-2007

Woah this is really good! short and nice..

12-26-2006	#1 (permalink)
theyoungandthehopeless Eligible for a custom title Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Singapore. Posts: 177	Untitled. [It's a poem btw.] I just wrote this today, and it's probably the first poem i wrote that i'm satisfied with. the paper flew, the words carved in, saying i love you start to end stuffed in the envelope and posted in the mail, addressed to heaven, from below when the postmen see, they exhale we're going to have to let it go this neatly written letter, from a boy missin his girl who's gone to somewhere better Good? Bad? Sucked? Rocked? Constructive criticism. Personally, i loved my first verse. Keep in mind i'm only twelve. [like that'll change anything]

12-30-2006	#2 (permalink)
saitorul Discussion starter Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Austin, Texas Posts: 77	Well, it is good. Pretty sad concept, but yes, good.
	NO TRUE!- Guy behind the counter of 7-11 O... um wats this space for... www.freewebs.com/wisdomcreek If you go there you will make me heart be happy. It is my band!

05-26-2007	#3 (permalink)
Sable_lynx Be gentle, newcomer Join Date: May 2007 Location: Nairobi, Kenya Posts: 4	Re: Untitled. [It's a poem btw.] lovely! its a little sad though..... but lovely all the same. keep at it

05-26-2007	#4 (permalink)
badbadputer 4D9RFAN4EVER Join Date: May 2007 Location: Pogoland...... Posts: 304	Re: Untitled. [It's a poem btw.] Touching poem, keep up writing if you enjoy it. May be our next 'great poet' of the future...

05-31-2007	#5 (permalink)
rstar500 Just getting started Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 6	Re: Untitled. [It's a poem btw.] Woah this is really good! short and nice..