Quote:
Originally Posted by delilahjed44  Hi Kevin..
Remember..we have learned through this program to listen for what is not being said. You yourself would be in denial to say..I could use my drug of choice and still fair back to normal..negative..I know you know this..you have not said..
If you have delighted yourself to the point of inebriation from time to time, that in itself is chances you take..it too can and will lead you back to your drug of choice..in your case..( which is rare ) your saying your in control of not being tempted to do your drug of choice rather its that particular high or not..but..you are getting high ( even on occasion ) through alcohol intoxication . There is a difference in the high..but none the less Kevin..its a high..its dangerous..and misleading..anytime in your life this could bring you back into the realm of thinking you can do your drug of choice..You have not crossed that path..God willing you never will. You may be a stronger individual on the on-set..but..it only takes one return back to insanity and thinking we are in control.
If I smoked a doobie..it would eventually follow with alcohol. What I am saying is..your strength is honorable..but also know..you are one of us..you can run, but you cannot hide..I learned this too..I am sure you wont like what I am saying here..but if you know the program as you have said..then you know exactly what my verbal approach is here..see?
Sherri |
I do know the program, but the difference is in what we believe the program to be, which in turn is the very reason I found it not to be the solutions for me. Your response is correct according to the concepts of the steps programs, but this is where I think they are, when it all boils down to it, about avoiding the real issue rather than dealing with it, by 'surrendering to a higher power', 'acknowledging we are powerless against our addiction'. As I said earlier, that's fine (indeed great) for those for whom it works and enables them to lead a life they are happy with. But for me personally it would be false to go that way when I do not believe it to be ultimately true. In fact I suspect it might not even work for me at all because of the fact I don't really believe in it. It would be like going to church to pray each week when you don't believe in God - meaningless without genuine faith.
To me, I do not have a medical/incurable condition called addiction, which is being managed through abstinence. I
had a behavioral issue which led to a temporary condition of addiction etc. If I should ever choose to go back to that (I can't see it happening but one should never say never really) then it would be my choice, and mine alone - I would be responsible for it and only I could deal with it.
Also, the occasional times I do have a drink, I really don't do it for the alcohol 'high' anyway. On a hot day, there is no drink more refreshing than a very cold beer (once you have acquired the taste for it). I tried 'socially drinking' (alone) a few years ago, where the point of it did involve the alcoholic effect, and frankly it wasn't the least bit interesting any more. There's half a bottle of vodka in the freezer left over from that experiment, which will most likely never get drunk (perhaps I'll eventually think of a use in cooking for it).