Quote:
Originally Posted by kevmartin  Sure, I'll 'share' as they say 
For me it wasn't specifically alcohol, but substance abuse in general - poly-drug use as they call it, so the meetings I attended were mostly NA not AA, though there were a few AA ones thrown in.
After quitting the meetings and doing it my own way, there was certainly some struggle, dealing with the change away from a very long time of established behaviour/lifestyle/etc.
But I did it and not through straight abstinence. For many years I did maintain what one would call 'normal' social drinking/smoking habits (partaking regularly with other people, sometimes to a point of inebriation, sometimes not). Now I scarcely drink at all, and never smoke. I'm still working my way through a case of beer I bought the Christmas before last - and also bought 1 bottle of wine in that period. But my choice of being mostly abstinent has nothing to do with controlling an addiction - I just drifted away from it out of disinterest I think. And probably it is heavily related to my social habits now, which are pretty much non-existent since I moved to the USA and came back then moved to the country. I'm sure I would be more inclined to have an occasional drink in a social situation than alone. In short, the whole thing is really a non-issue for me these days. As for why I chose to address my substance issues in the first place - it was because I could see it was self-destructive and after so long unquestioningly following on a self-destructive path it occurred to me there might be some value in getting off it. |
Hi Kevin..
Remember..we have learned through this program to listen for what is not being said. You yourself would be in denial to say..I could use my drug of choice and still fair back to normal..negative..I know you know this..you have not said..
If you have delighted yourself to the point of inebriation from time to time, that in itself is chances you take..it too can and will lead you back to your drug of choice..in your case..( which is rare ) your saying your in control of not being tempted to do your drug of choice rather its that particular high or not..but..you are getting high ( even on occasion ) through alcohol intoxication . There is a difference in the high..but none the less Kevin..its a high..its dangerous..and misleading..anytime in your life this could bring you back into the realm of thinking you can do your drug of choice..You have not crossed that path..God willing you never will. You may be a stronger individual on the on-set..but..it only takes one return back to insanity and thinking we are in control.
If I smoked a doobie..it would eventually follow with alcohol. What I am saying is..your strength is honorable..but also know..you are one of us..you can run, but you cannot hide..I learned this too..I am sure you wont like what I am saying here..but if you know the program as you have said..then you know exactly what my verbal approach is here..see?
Sherri