Hey you guys..
I want to tell you it is a disease, I fought it for 13 years, crashed the gate at 98..fell for a 1 1/2 year, it almost took me apart this last time. When I quit before I was forced to go to a doctor in which I told him I was having a heart attack, he looked at my hands...did an EKG...said my skin was dry, then told me I am not having a heart attack..cant recall the drug he administered, but when I was using it to help me, I found out it was for alcohol withdrawals..See he knew I was suffering but I was in denial, he treated me anyway with no admittance on my part. I went through !@#$ for 3 months..several years of AA, finally I was past the shakes and sweating from fighting this disease. Some think they have it...I will tell you others like myself have lived it..its real, and it will take your world apart every which way it can. It truly is cunning and baffling..it will rob your very soul if you allow it..one must fight it to the good of there total outcome. There are underlying issues that lead people to alcohol 50% of the time..however..once your on the stuff, it seals its mark in your veins..it lives in your blood..you crave it and thirst for it..12 step is a program of stepping stones if applied correctly and you actually use it,,it keeps your mind off of drinking..gives you alternatives to a way out,,and as you participate within a group, a healing process begins..support..understanding..and victory stories..without it so many of us would never make it..it only becomes a crutch if we allow it to, the program that is..by continuing to use the drug of your choice and becoming a whinebag on everyones shoulder...instead of waking up out of your slumber and realizing..THIS IS MY LIFE...AND I AM LOSING IT..COULD TAKE OTHERS DOWN WTIH ME IN THE PROCESS..WAKE UP..SEE THE LIGHT..well God was my higher power and the program saved my from myself and total selfishness along with stupidity for ever resorting to alcohol, rather fun or dismay..it snuck in the back door and broke off the key in the lock..it took years for me to pick the lock, open new doors and come to the realization that life is to precious to waste away inside a bottle..


Sherri