Hmmmm, Soul Mate, well was a believer at one time in my life, but the person I thought was mine is no longer in my life, and to be honest, i'm grateful for unanswered prayers. Dont get me wrong, I loved him with all my heart, would have even given my life for him and for his happiness. Deep down I know he is still a wonderful person and deserves to be happy, but with someone else. Though I had a very long and hard time understanding that cause I thought and was so sure that he was my soul mate. Could be that he is/was mine, but doesnt mean that I was/is his.
Now, at time when the person I look at makes me so angry that when I look at him I could spit nails, or some of his little quirky things drive me mad almost as bad as fingernails on a chalkboard, or when he asks for a hug after an argument that I could swear he not only started but was totally wrong on, and i wish i could bear hug him til he falls to his knees, this is the man who asked me out 5 times before i said yes because i was so sure my 'soul mate' was going to come to his senses and find that he did love me truly and plead forgiveness, that on the 6th attempt I agreed to lunch with him. Now I realize that i did find the right man. I went through the worst turmoil and pain imaginable, learned rights and wrongs, learned a little about myself, where I was and what I did and did not want, and this man patiently waited for me to be ready on my time, not his. There are times where I am completely weak in the knees, and he isn't even near me, he's just glancing at me from across the room. We are not in any way the perfect couple, we are learning and growing each moment together or apart, but the one thing I do know is that i dont have to second guess if he really knows me, in fact he knows me more than i know myself sometimes.
You see, the person i thought was my soulmate was/is a drinker, although looking back now I didnt think too much of it, but after a conversation we had about people i'd known while we were together, but he didn't remember introducing us, it was then that I realized, through most if not all of our relationship he was drinking or drunk, so he never truly knows or even got to know me. And everything now that he doesn't remember and now blames me for continuously is what he saw or believed at the time drunk. So perhaps I am with my soulmate, maybe not, but I know this relationship is completely honest and we are truly getting to know each other.
I hold no ill-will against the ex, in fact I truly hope he finds happiness like I have, he deserves it.