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c.dric · 05-22-2007

From Seinfeld :

Quote:

Jerry: This isn't a good time.
Telemarketer: When would be a good time to call back, sir?
Jerry: I have an idea, why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you back later?
Telemarketer: Umm, we're not allowed to do that.
Jerry: Oh, I guess because you don't want strangers calling you at home.
Telemarketer: Umm, no.
Jerry: Well, now you know how I feel.
[hangs up phone]

Quote:

George Costanza: Why do they make the condom packets so hard to open?
Jerry: Probably to give the woman a chance to change her mind.

Quote:

Jerry: Have ya been to the Motor Vehicle Bureau? Its a leper colony there.
Elaine: So, basically what you're saying is 95% of the population is undatable?
Jerry: UNDATABLE.
Elaine: So how are all these people gettin' together?
Jerry: Alcohol.

Quote:

George Costanza: I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think "That's why I'm not a heterosexual."