I am not an advocate of punishment at all. Nor do I agree with the idea of withholding oneself or ones love from children. Rather, I agree with consequences for bad decisions. Those consequences tho are sometimes better being 'controlled' by parents rather than actual accidental or natural consequences.

Much in the way of decision making with young people is reflective of their relationship with parents. Age appropriate open discussions are definitely key in my opinion to a healthy perspective for youth.

I have had to on occasion restrict freedom for my children based on occurrences in their daily life. There is a huge difference in restricting freedom because one loves their kids and has to feel like they are in control or are simply not sure what else to do. It is also easy for adults to mistake the the differences.

For a person who has experienced so called 'love' as being controlled, control is love to them unless and until they learn differently. Equally, if a person has been taught love as being overly submissive or permissive, they are very likely going to express it the same way.