Quote:
Originally Posted by bns  @belay: My advice is this. If you aren't sure you want to stick around for the long haul, then get out. It sounds like she has lots of issues, which will be hard on her and on anyone she's in a relationship with. If you really like her, and you want to make it work, then you should probably back off a bit emotionally. Here's what I mean. Hang around, keep it relatively casual, and just continue to be there for her. It sounds like she has some trust issues. The way to build trust is to be trust-worthy day after day after day. Over time, if you earn it, she will probably come to trust you. But don't try to force her into an emotional closeness that she isn't ready for. That can be very counter-productive. You're both young, and 7-8 months really isn't that long. Give it another year or so, and see if things change very much by then. Patience is extremely hard in a young relationship, but I believe it's necessary. Try to step back and objectively decide if she will ever open up to you, or if you think it's never going to happen.
Hope that helps.  Relationships are hard. |
I second that!
The only thing I would add is that, I know, from my life, that I was always looking so hard for some thing, and could never find it untill I stopped looking. In other words, (RJWood pointed out) I was trying to find some thing to fill in the missing things in my life with a relationship, and this was just disasterous. It was one one of the hardest realisations in my life seeing the pattern I was in.
I still tend to jump into relationships quickly, but once I stopped trying so hard to find the perfect girl to make me happy, I ended up meeting one and we really are happy now. Thats not to say every thing is perfect or that we dont argue or what ever, but its just seeing that she is imprefect, and admiting that I am, and loving her the same. I guess what I am saying is that once you stop trying to make some thing work, youll eventually find some thing that just works, with out you trying, and that seems to be the best. Just let things take their course, and if you FEEL uncomfortable, or unhappy, then yea... its best to take heed to those feelings and break it off, or step out of the relationship how ever you can.
Good luck and good night... I cant believe I'm STILL awake (7am!!!)
