Because you could not say “No”
To another drink,
You gave into the world
Which made you hate everything-
Your job, your family, your life.
The other side of your soul
Showed me who you really were,
Or maybe just who you wanted to be.
You became an outraged,
tyrannical monster
Who showed his power
By how loud his growl was.
Everything had to be done perfectly.
The house to be cleaned,
dinner to be cooked,
And our voices to be dimmed.
You continued to consumed
More amounts
Of what you told me
Was your “stress relief”.
Your ire grew into a firework display
Of unadorned colors.
Random pieces of furniture
Became airborne before
Each burst as it found the ground.
I stood in the doorway,
Watching your tornado of fury
Take its toll on our home.
The vein in your forehead was bulging.
The muscles in your neck
Were tightened and strained.
You grinded your teeth together
Making your jaw a little more defined.
You threw your mangled thoughts at me
With non-existent words.
And though they were not real
The connotation gave its meaning.
When you mentioned my name
After one of “your” words,
I wondered what I had done wrong.
Did I not finish the laundry?
Did I not do the dishes?
I doubled checked everything.
Nothing was left undone.
Your tantrum of sputtering
Kept me up all night.
Who were you venting at?
When you found yourself lost
In your incoherent speeches
To yourself,
You looked at me and said,
“Beat it.”
I disappeared
Before you had to tell me twice.
After you slammed a door,
For what I hoped was the last time,
I looked out my window.
You were sitting on the top step,
Slouching but your head raised.
I watched as your breathing changed
From heaving
To sighs.
You put your hands to your face
And lit a cigarette.