The sun peaks its rays over the treetops,
Beams of light penetrate my window
With rainbow colors.
And yet my eyes have not closed.
I lay awake all night,
Contemplating the choices
That life has thrown my way.
What to be, who to love, how to live.
Sleep cannot win the fight this time.
Indecision hovers over me
As if it has wings of its own
To follow me around.
Every road I choose to take
Is but another that soon will end.
No signs point the way,
Nor any which warn me of the dangers.
Regret is in my future,
Of that I am certain.
I was never any good
At being, loving, or living.
But the best I can do
Is follow the path which I have picked
And force myself to step across its end,
A barrier of failures which continually grows.
I will create a new path
To which will lead me where ever
I wish to go,
The mountains, the oceans, who knows.
But I will lead myself
To my own destination
Because only I can live my life.
Lamenting or not,
I have chosen my path.
That is all I can ask of myself,
For I do not know what the future holds.
I can only pray I am taking one step closer
In lieu of two leaps back.